Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“Electrified Relationships”

My Facebook family is growing everyday! I can now quantitatively identify who my friends are. It’s more people than I thought, and it extends my social network far beyond the sense of humility I once had. Not only are my relatives connecting up with me via computer, all the “friends” of my relatives are now potentially a part of this big “family”. I receive new invitations every day. I welcome this neat way to keep up with relatives that I only see in person about once a year. However I am not sure I need to know about what is going on with my niece’s old college roommate who appears on the same page, complete with photos. I was willing for the younger generation to have this little on-line party, talking it up in clever comments, but now I am wondering if they are being overly magnanimous to include everyone they can think of. I’m afraid the less wired generation is being dragged into this supposedly modern trend.

It is all done electronically, with a sense of “personal” involvement which is missing physical presence. To actually be in the same room with someone sheds a living quality on the relationship which I say you can’t get through the virtual reality of internet ethers. Perhaps it doesn’t matter that there are no subtleties of facial expression when all you want is a casual keeping up with family and your ever-widening circle of friends. But closer relationships require personal presence for proper maintenance. The deeper the relationship, the less it is about exchange of information. Close relationships require some communication of emotion, which those cute little “emoticons” just won’t provide.

There is even a trend among relationship therapists to engage in web-supported counseling. I ask myself where will this lead. What happens to the healing presence of human beings who are in real contact seated near each other? The very nature of what is therapeutic about a professional relationship depends on visible empathy and subliminal exchange. Both parties in a relationship that is intended for either intimacy or healing need to interact with all five senses, plus the sixth sense of intuition.

But how about just everyday social networking using the web? A British journal called “Biologist” says electronically mediated relationships may actually add to a person’s poor health. They cite research which shows that the Brits’ interaction time with other human beings has decreased dramatically in the computer age to a total of 50 minutes of a waking day. Their research also extends to other technically advanced societies like the US and shows correlation with poor health. They found that modern couples spend less actual time with each other, and more time with electronic pastimes and media devices. The threat to physical health comes from the idea that humans in virtual contact with other humans actually weaken each other. Human contact helps by way of increased hormone levels, immune responses, and lowered blood pressure.

So there is evidently a biological as well as a psychological aspect to Facebook and other online communicators. It all may force us to carefully define what a human relationship really is. It surely is at least about two people seeking some level of interaction in which their needs are met. Some relationships are more superficial, like business relationships. Others may even be for hostile purposes, like bullying. But what makes us truly human in terms of things like compassion, love, comfort, or support, seems to require physical presence.

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