Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“How Hot the Chili”

I once knew a woman who kept serving up the same chili to her husband every Thursday night for years and years into their marriage. Now, this in itself is not remarkable because many husbands don't pay much attention to the meal as long as there IS one. However, in this case, the wife was venturing into dangerous territory with her mono-menu because her husband considered himself a gourmet griper. He DID pay attention to the general food fare, howbeit usually from the negative side.

So why, you ask did he tolerate the similar soups for so long? It turned out it was because the recipe had come from his Italian mother. For a long time he made an exception to his usual criticisms because ( a) he didn't want to imply criticism of his sainted mother, and (b.) he didn't want to face having to “make his own damn chili”, a complex and all day affair.

But after awhile, maybe it was his mid-life re-evaluation of things, he grew tired of the same old dish he was getting at home and began to register loud complaints regularly on Thursday nights. The marriage had come to a crisis point. Things were tense. The loving, well-meaning, but besieged wife finally realized she had to do something. After a few sleepless nights, she hit upon a novel idea to deal with the problem.

She decided that instead of actually changing the recipe, she would tell her husband that she was going to add a brand new ingredient. Or perhaps only the suggestion of one. “So Mr. Smartypants,” she invited him, “see if your gourmet taste-buds can tell what the secret element is”.

This was a bit of a threat to his self-styled and refined tastes. But because it was about food he reacted reasonably well. Of course it took several Thursdays in a row to work at this. And, believe it or not, it wasn't long before he was actually looking forward to Thursdays nights when he could take the chili challenge once again. You might guess that his imagination told him all sorts of intriguing things. It could be this or it could be that. Wife remained mysterious, and would not yield an answer.

The outcome was that the whole thing softened up his attitude, and made meal time less stressful not just on Thursdays, but the rest of the week as well.

It's hard to say what the secret ingredient really was. You know, there are recipes and there are recipes. And which one is the ingredient that really makes it chili? There are some ingredients that are the essence of true taste and true gustatory effect and some ingredients you could get along without, and still have a very acceptable and satisfying bowl of soup.

Fortunately, it is not the same for everybody. Some like it hot (Remember?) and some do not. You like good chili, but do you know what you could, in the long run, get along without? In fact, the taste buds change over a period of time and with changing circumstances. What you thought was the ideal chili, when you first were introduced to this delight, has likely changed as you became more sensitive to the subtler and more complex flavors beneath the surface of that first spoonful.

As for the couple I was telling you about, I never knew whether the change in their relationship resulted from her fresh perspective on the soup, or from his curiosity to discover his wife's secret ingredient.

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