Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“Lasting Love Rooted in Consciousness Raising”

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down, and broke his crown;

And Jill came tumbling after.

Up got Jack and home did trot,

As fast as he could caper.

He went to bed and bound his head

With vinegar and brown paper.

The Jack and Jill love story has more to it than meets the eye. It is a love story for our times. Without revealing any confidences, I refer to the fabled Jack and Jill and their modern counterparts. You all know the rhyme from childhood as an innocent companionship between two kids who had troubles after they set out together on a happy journey. Or so it seemed…..

As a relationship therapist, I see their adventure as a good example of how romance has its surprises. When you were young, you could not have seen the complex relationships between men and women, but you were gently introduced to the possible hazards when you began to master the calamity of the story's simple yet ghastly plot. Jack breaks his head (nurseryspeak for “beheaded”) and Jill takes a great tumble. Something went very wrong. It is said that the origin of the rhyme was the beheading of King Louis XVI of France , but I say trouble can come to any love relationship. Couples, in the throes of love's excitement, only THINK of their relationship as royalty-blooded before they have become fully conscious of the course of human nature.

This is not to throw Jack's pail of water on Valentine's Day, but simply to point out that romantic love must be tempered with an understanding of enduring love, lest lovers become disenchanted with Love's process. The process I speak of is making the unconscious more conscious. You say, “Give us a day of flowers, cards, and chocolate”; I say,” Don't give up on love when the roses have wilted”. Once you grasp the dynamic nature of love between two people, you can deal with your disappointments the rest of the year.

Husbands, caught in the powerful mythical forces of love, unconsciously would prefer that their wives would not fulfill their womanhood. As long as husbands have the unquestioning compliance of an emotionally immature woman, they believe they will have peace. Wrong!! Jack gets a jolt in the head when he thinks his trip up the mountain with Jill will remain idyllic. He wants to promise her a mountain-top marriage of paradise proportions, but at the top of the hill is enlightenment and inevitable personal growth. The marriage has to go through this and other changes for the sake of the growth of the relationship. It takes Jack a few days sick in bed to get adjusted to the unfolding realities of his love for Jill. It is hard to say whether greater self-awareness brings pain, or is it that it will take painful conflicts for the marriage to mature.

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