Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“Acknowledge Mother Power”

Mothers are powerful people. But because they are generally humble and lovingly occupied with motherly responsibilities, they don't realize how powerful they are. I refer here to psychological power. And there is this limitation: their power extends only to their children, who know it, or maybe gradually come to realize it as they grow up. This power is subtle. The neighbors don't notice it, but, believe me, it is there.

Ever catch yourself repeating a gesture or phrase that's just like the mother you thought you had grown out of? Face it; you are destined live within the forcefield of this motherly power all your life. Either you will become a clone-like copy of your mother, or you might just try to rebel against the mother you thought you didn't want to be like.

Rebellion is probably a futile attempt unless you go into it realizing you are u p against one of the five great powers of the universe. The other four are God, gravity, hurricanes, and witchcraft, none of which mothers would acknowledge as fair competitors. OK, maybe mothers are godly with their enduring love for their children, but they risk their place in heaven when they try to use guilt to gain power and influence over their kids, which is something God would never do. My suggestion to grown-up children: don't fight Mother Power head on. It would be better to harness it; I mean the loving part, to pass on to your own children. But of course this takes a certain amount of wisdom to know how to leave the nest and become a parent yourself.

My job would be a lot easier if mothers would come out of their respective closets and acknowledge the power that they wield, just by virtue of being the ones who bore you, suckled you, and saw that you ate your vegetables. It is hard to see mothers who don't realize the strong effect they are having on these grown children at a time when both are trying to find their rightful place in the ongoing flux of the life-cycle. While mothers (and fathers) are coping with their empty nest, impending retirement, and finding meaning in their increasingly shorter lives, the next generation is occupied with getting its feet on the ground, buying its first house, and figuring out how to parent its own children, There are sometimes cross-purposes in these ventures, yet the two generations are not equal. The mature and senior mother holds the high card. Mothers and sons, mothers and daughters only appear to be on equal footing because they are all the same height. But I assure you mother power is stronger than weight class might imply. Frailty of aging is no indicator of diminished power. Eighty year old mothers will still influence their sixty year old “children”, especially if they are geographically in range.

So what does it mean to “honor your mother” after all these years? It probably does not mean you still have to do everything she says. However, it would be honorably wise to know her wishes, and excel at high levels of diplomacy when confronted with ways of doing things that are not in her “should” system.

And what are the ethics of mother power for the mother herself? Wield power with the love that lets your children grow up to be different from you, with different ideas about parenting, money, or success. This is not easy to do, but where love is the great modifier of power, mothering will set a good example for the next crew to launch a family.

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