Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“Beware of Tropical Depressions”

Three hurricane blows in a row have put Southwest Florida families under pressure, when it comes to emotions. Like three giant spitballs hurled at us from some ejection machine on Africa 's West coast, these soggy storms have strained marriages. With storms named like some friendly neighbor, we were not prepared for hostile action. People, who once thought that Florida was their paradise, are questioning their move from northern states “where the weather is bad”. The joke going around is that if you want to know whether you are living in a flood plain, look at your driver's license. If it says “ Florida ”, then you live in a flood plane. This kind of humor reflects a change in the way residents are viewing their mental health. Which is to say we must be insane to think our dreams will be fulfilled in a place with water problems, mold, and no electricity. Any time the Weather Channel becomes the drama show, there is something wrong. Too much uncertainty, too much instability. I used to think there was no need for our marriages to start reflecting the turbulence of the weather, but I am finding there IS a bad and penetrating effect.

Husbands and wives, who may have already had stress in their relationships, become even more testy in the face of decisions about evacuation or roof repair. And, of greater magnitude ( like a Force 4), there is a kind of grief feeling intruding into the lives of those couples who once thought Florida was one big Fantasyland. It gives new meaning to the term “Tropical Depression”. Specifically, this is the feeling of having lived in Florida too long, when the whole state seems to have lost it allure. There is a sense of loss of the dream which brought us here. In just one month, Florida has become a place of reality. Now, it is just like any other state with good points and bad. (OK, maybe North Dakota never had any good points up ‘til now.) Many couples (including those starting over in the fever of a new marriage) have felt the symptoms of Tropical Depression: “Why did we pull up roots, leave behind a network of friends and relatives, and move to Florida ?”

That is probably something that a lot of Americans have felt, actually. We are a nation of pioneers. Someplace, back there in the ancestral tree, somebody in our family probably struck out for the frontier. Whether it was emigration from some part of Europe, Africa, or Asia, or somebody pursuing their dream along the Oregon Trail, our country has had this spirit of moving on to new places. Florida has been one of those places ever since air conditioning was invented. But now we have reached the edge of the frontier, and there is no place left to go, unless we jump off into a new continent. Or maybe the moon. No hurricanes there!

But the trouble is, blue skies, sandy beaches, and fluttering palm trees just don't solve emotional problems or relationship problems, especially if those features are suddenly in short supply. The marital “cones of uncertainty” begin to diverge, and the marriage becomes the weather.

Still, Tropical Depressions need to be recognized for what they are. They are temporary doubts about the happiness quotient of the marriage. External stress on the relationship may be passing. If there is evidence of strange reactions to all these hurricanes, chalk it up to this special kind of grief. It may not mean you have to move back to Michigan to solve the problem. Figure it will blow over.

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