Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“Relationship to Food”

In the hurly-burly world of love, I see some wild twists of fortune. One of the most puzzling episodes is when I watch a woman grapple with her love-hate relationship to food. It is like watching a train going off the track: When a woman feels that her human lover becomes dull and unresponsive, she does a funny thing. She seeks a new lover: food. Especially comfort food. If she was looking for her mate to nurture her, and it's not happening, she gets into another relationship. This "infidelity" may at first be carried out in secret. But we all know she can't get away with it, because the evidence soon begins to show, and because the affair with food does little to fulfill her. Still, she pursues her new lover, and sadly receives only calorie-filled love notes. She has confused an empty heart with an empty stomach. Ironically, the more weight she gains, the more her self-esteem goes plop. Human lovers, although they can disappoint you, don't make you fat. An affair with food never meets the fantasy expectations.

It is painful to see an otherwise rational and intelligent woman fail to maintain the delicate balance between food, love, and her mate. What has gone wrong? What internal machinery has gotten out of whack? No, it's not just hormones. I contend that it can only be explained by the muses of psychology: She must be in a negative trance, as if hypnotized without her knowledge. An unseen force plaguing her sincere human desire to find love and tranquility in her relationship to a man. If she thought her husband had neglected her, now her new lover has really let her down. If you don't think this qualifies as a real relationship to food, consider how the intimacy with her husband has taken a back seat. Besides, if she goes into overweight mode, she may be physically less attractive to her husband, and surely less confident in that relationship. A person can only manage one lover. Either it is food or it is a real mate, but not both.

I'll tell you why the destructive whispers of food-love are trancelike. When this unfortunate woman was just a child and vulnerable to the things told to her by her parents, she got subtle messages from them about how food is connected to love. "Clean up your plate", they said, and the little girl wanted to please, so she took the suggestion like it was constitutional law. It became ingrained in her brain, and now has the power of a well-planted post-hypnotic suggestion. A foothold in the psychic realms, where it keeps playing like a commanding voice in a Stephen King novel. The nurturing mother turned out giant cinnamon buns. Food equals love, and now comfort foods take you back home.

It is also like the amnesia of an hypnotic trance because the unfaithful woman eats unnecessarily, without even being aware she is doing it. She eats even when she is not hungry. The need for the feeling of nurturing love is so strong, that it overrides her good judgment (which is supposed to keep track of impulses that might get you in trouble).

Solution: Reverse the hypnotic effect of the "bad trance" history. The "good trance" of modern hypnotherapy works to reverse these confusing "suggestions", and treats the love of food while it strengthens the rational resolve for weight management. Hypnosis for positive self-talk puts the love hunger in perspective, and helps a woman look realistically at her marital relationship. It encourages her take better care of herself, and feel better about herself.

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