Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“Amazing Working Mothers”

Being a working wife and mother at the same time requires a balancing act which defies the Great Walendas, who cross the circus highwire with their whole family in tow. I picture the working mother, high above the big top, making her daily trek across the great expanse that stretches from morning on one end till night on the other, carrying her family, maybe two bicycles, and a kitchen chair on her back. It is not just extra work to perform home responsibilities along with job responsibilities; it is an emotional tippy-toe where you could fall off any moment and crash.

We bring up our daughters to believe that they can pursue their education and have a career just like our sons, but oops! we forget to tell them that, when they become mothers, their career is in for a surprise. The " curse" of women suffrage, liberation, etc, creates its own stress. Girls deserve to fulfill their skills and talents which distinguish them as persons capable of doing more in life than bearing children, yet they are often in mortal conflict, knickers in a twist, when motherhood enters the picture. Modern life at its hairiest: The four horses of Maternal Instinct pulling the family chariot down the pike toward Loving Parenthood, but simultaneously there is a great swirling cloud of dust as they are being overtaken by the four-horse chariot of American Dream. That dream is where mama works outside the home and believes she is even contributing to society. It is truly difficult to do both!

Two career families are not just hard on the wife/mother, it shakes up the husband's role, as well. This poor fellow, who was just getting the hang of his place in the family as the Hunter-Gatherer, now has to do his own balancing act. Were the great hunters meant for hunting down lost pacifiers? Were the cleverest gatherers ever meant to gather up the laundry? Hard to imagine! Is whimping-down the price the male ego has to pay for enjoying two career benefits? These and other profound questions will need more than talk-show debate. Our modern male likes the advantages of having his cake and eating well too. He likes being the proud new father. He also likes a two-income budget. So, can he break a few traditional barriers when it comes to household chores and, horror of horrors, change a diaper (in an emergency, of course)?

Maybe the pressures of breaking the old traditions and shifting gender roles are more than "simply" a psychological stretch. Perhaps it is true that the modern couple of two-careers-plus-parenthood is up against instinctual forces. Maybe we are asking geese not to fly south in the winter. Maybe salmon should never try to swim up the Columbia River, leaping away their lives. There is so much power in the instinct of motherhood that it is like some great battle of churning mythic forces on Mount Olympus for the new young mother to return to work after her maternity leave. The super abilities, that have made her a successful and conscientious new mother, unpredictably morph into a guilty burden when it comes time to leave the baby with Someone Else. Did we want her to be a good mother or not? Did we expect her to really, really care about this child, and then all of a sudden not care too much, so she can get on with her vocational career? It is the call of conflicting voices. Is it any wonder that the transition to the new dual role feels like it is pulling at her deepest roots?

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