Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow


 

“Mothers' Day”

It took the Brits years of building their empire and drinking warm beer, and then more years of refining their culture, to finally reach the pinnacle of their civilization. It was the reign of Queen Victoria.. The Victorian Era they called it. Trendy ,and except for sexual repression, a glorious (go figure!) time it was! If you visit Buckingham Palace in London, and stop trying to peer between the iron bars of the security gate, you might notice directly behind you, in the middle of the traffic circle, an ornate monument to Queen Victoria herself. She appears content to reside there, apart from the palace itself, trading permanent eviction from the fertile royal grounds for permanent marble status. Surrounding the main, slightly smoked-stained figure of the huge statue, like adoring petals of the main flower, are three smaller figures. Whether or not they are supposed to depict qualities of the Queen is hard to say, but their scrolled names beneath tell a lot about the prime virtues the country holds dear: It (really!) reads: "Truth, Justice, and Motherhood"! Etched in stone!

I thought it was a little pompous, but what do I know, being from the colonies. I suppose that this statue is the American equivalent of "Mom and Apple Pie", like they were the guiding principles of an entire nation, searching its history for what makes it great. The difference I see between the two countries is that we Americans have cleverly linked Mom and Apple Pie together: Get it? It is moms who make the apple pie, so there is no real separation of powers. Threaten motherhood, and you threaten the national honor!

Nonetheless, it is clear that both countries put motherhood right up there with constitutional virtues. Looking up at the Victorian regent that day, I thought she was looking directly at me with her marbled eyes. This is fair warning, I thought, to psychotherapists, who are always asking their patients impertinent questions about their mothers. Maybe therapists in the U.K are not allowed to ask the Mother question. British Justice must preclude the counselor's quest for too much Truth. That's why the Victorian monarchs must have commissioned this statue: To establish balance and priorities for how they (and, by implication, we) should remember mothers. A little shaken, I vowed right there to be more sensitive in probing for dysfunction among the mental shrines of peoples' marriages.

There is no doubt that mothers are very important figures in shaping each of us, and how we relate intimately to others. I hate to say this, but since all children are complex in their needs (or, as in my own case a "challenge"), mothers do not always get the job done. It is usually not because they have any bad intentions. Mothers are doing the best they can with what they know at the time. I give them a lot of credit. Even so, there are left-over gaps in our little minds, like the holes in Swiss cheese, that determine most of our lifetime difficulties with our mates. We can only blame ourselves if we don't catch on to this fact.

Still, we couldn't get along without mothers, (or their apple pies). Lest you have any doubts about this, I cite the case of "Dolly", the cloned sheep. Poor Dolly was born without a mother, and had only the upbringing provided by her Petri dish Scottish handlers. No reflection on the Scotts, but without proper mothering, dear Dolly died. As indeed would probably happen to any of us in the same circumstance. It just proves how vital mothers are.

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