Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“Don't Think of Sex”

I once knew a new bride who wanted to rewrite the wedding vows so that the man would have to swear that he would never have a thought about another woman, once he began the marriage. Something that would guarantee total faithfulness, not just in behavior, but in thought as well. She wanted not just the commitment of his body, the unswerving devotion of his time and energies, but she also wanted a man with no imagination, whose brain was thoroughly cleansed of any images of the opposite sex: See another woman out of the corner of his eye, and he immediately goes into defrag mode. Click, click, and all wandering fantasies eliminated. The only sexual interest destined for this Robot Guy would be the Owner-Wife, and maybe a slight curiosity about mating geckos. Other than that, our man would be a true-blue husband.

This woman, who should be feared as a marital terrorist, could create a whole lot of trouble for weddings and marriages for years to come. If she would get her way, the male of the species would likely become endangered. There would be few married guys interested in watching TV football. The old gang, that used to go away for the annual hunting trip, would probably have to disband for lack of interest. Without much testosterone, it would be a dismal picture. That's what happens when women like this get their way. These women are afraid that, if a man imagines sex with another woman, he will go right out and do it. As if there was no ability of impulse control. But, a guy can think about a lot of things he would never do!

I'm not saying that married men should be free to have sexual affairs whenever they want. I am all for loyal partners who are up to the husband job description, and take it seriously, and with responsibility. Give them their proper role, I say, with full use of the imagination. Let the man assert himself, pitch in to build a strong family, and choose affection and sex as a natural part of his intimate interaction with his wife. Even a good clean fight between equals can clear the air, and make room for those warm and rosy feelings, that are sweeter than honey. If sex results from this, I say a woman couldn't want anything better. But sex with robots is no fun. And the woman who creates such a man will soon regret it. Read on.

This same woman, thirty or forty years down the marital pike, will wish she hadn't tried to get inside her husband's head to patrol his fantasy life. Because, by this time, her husband may need more sexual ideas, not less. Thanks to her, his sex-brain has atrophied. Testosterone is wearing thin, despite our beleaguered husband's attempt to keep up his interest in smoking cigars, driving fast, acting gruff, and bragging about his new audio system. He doesn't need the thought police; he needs mental stimulation just to know how to spell libido. The wife may have to light Viagra-scented candles in order to start a fire under this old veteran. She will be glad for any faint signs of sexual interest on his part, let alone action. Then she will pray for the old days when she had the opportunity of relinquishing thought control. She will then probably want to renew the wedding vows, and have a scripted part for the husband that says, "I do promise and swear to think of sex more often."

________________________________________________