Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

“Holiday Cheer”

Don't call me a scrooge or a party pooper, but I have to wave the caution flag on holiday drinking. I have witnessed so many lives crippled by the effects of alcohol that I have a tragedy-overload headache.

A few years back, I became aware of how many of the people I saw in my office had a common thread: they all had a parent who was alcoholic. Their current problems had nothing apparently to do with alcohol. In fact, many of these adult-children-of-alcoholics had not touched a drop of alcohol in years. But they had problems in present-day relationships that were rooted in the past. Abusive holiday drinking seems like a gross misunderstanding of what family gatherings are all about. Alcohol is the most widely consumed drug in existence, and is responsible for 75-85% of motor vehicle crashes, not to mention how it puts a dent in the family tree. The sad thing is that much of the alcohol consumed this holiday season will negatively affect the family for years to come. Even if there will be no more drinking by the grown children of today's problem drinker, the effect on the relationships grabs everybody down the line, like a gene pool ghost rising up out of the swamp. Holiday time is a time to get together with friends and family, and have a good time, but drugging-up is not my idea of hospitality.

I can just hear the "moderates" mumbling that many people can consume alcohol safely and without abuse, and," Besides", they claim, "nobody should legislate morals for others. Everybody should be responsible for themselves", they proclaim.

Now I have to get on my soapbox, labeled "Duh, Think About It". Maybe some can spare themselves emotional pain, and comfort themselves with denial, but as a "combat veteran" of the War of the Roses, (namely, a Marriage and Family Therapist) I have to look the alcohol reality in the eye each time I hear another sad family story. There are so many factors that contribute to problem drinking, that this chemical, alcohol, is not a substance to be dealt with lightly. There should be a warning label like on cigarettes: "WARNING: THIS COULD BE HAZARDOUS TO YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES." That old man of reason, Sam Shoemaker, once said he wouldn't keep a dog in his house that bit every sixth visitor. He was making the point that abuse statistics are bad enough, even if the rate of problem drinkers is one in six moderate drinkers.

Besides, moderate use is frequently the basis for abuse, when you mix in the other emotional issues. Subtly, like a creeping thing from science fiction, the drinking escalates, and all the signs of a problem start showing up: arguments, dishonesty and denial, missing work, or becoming more isolated from the family. Maybe there is no such thing as moderate use of alcohol in families where there are children. If you want your children to stay off drugs altogether, you can't model this by moderate use of alcohol yourself. This is a no-brainer.

So this season think about the ghosts of Christmas Past and the ghosts of Christmas Future, when you celebrate. Children need to experience their home as a safe haven, where their relationship sensors can develop normally (i.e., in a chemical-free zone), and where they can truly enjoy the benefits of family life and family celebrations.

There will be some sad memories this year for the victims of alcohol abuse, old and young alike. And, unfortunately, there will be some new ghosts created by misuse of the drug that somehow got labeled as "Holiday Cheer".

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