Published Articles
By Dr. William R. Morrow

"The Power of Positive Speaking"

You want power in your relationship? Whether it is a relationship at work you want to change or a few at home, there is a really effective over-the-counter method you can use. I don’t say it’s cheap or easy because it requires turning your thinking around from the ways you usually use to try to get people to change. It requires a little positive approach and an attitude of hope. Hardest of all, it means giving up your old standby formula of criticism. Specifically, it means finding a few things that are working well in your relationships and letting that powerful perspective drench you like warm chocolate syrup over a Chantilly custard cream. But lest I get lost in a gastronomic metaphor, I’d like to turn your attention to recent developments in the hard science of sports psychology.

The championship World Cup US Women’s soccer team was coached by a man. Tony DiCicco. As one of the few men who really understands how to change women, he knows how to motivate them to do their best. Here is his secret method revealed: He videotapes the players in practice or in the heat of the soccer match and then edits to focus exclusively on the individual player’s performance, specifically when she is playing her best game. Finally, he shows this video to the team member as positive feedback. In effect he is saying “Notice this, and do more of it”. DiCicco actually trains men as well as women, always with the emphasis on abilities, self-esteem, and self respect.

I like this approach, and I think it would work off the soccer field as well as on. What if employers would take up this philosophy with their employees, or parents with their kids? We’d have championship teams all over the place: Teams of sales and service personnel; Teams of family members oozing respect and self-esteem. Positive feedback, well-researched in many fields of endeavor, turns out to be a forceful way to change people’s behavior.

I congratulate the eighth annual NICE Day Cape Coral committee for once again bringing a positive approach to relationships among the citizenry of our county on Monday, October 18. N.I.C.E. is an acronym that stands for the National Incentive to Compliment Everyone. The observance of this special day is a way to encourage positive change in all segments of the community. If you are having a bad day and find yourself on the wrong side of the river, travel to Cape Coral on Nice Day. As soon as you cross the bridge, a positive mood will hit you (gently) right in the face and your spirits will be lifted. Even the Gator’s Steve Spurrier would be transformed by a visit to the land of Nice Day. From what I can see, in the Spurrier School of Relationship Motivation, things are not so positive. People are likely to get harangued. He apparently assumes the team members are lazy and operating on low voltage. It is hard to see any optimism or gratitude on his televised face. Hey Coach! Come to Cape Coral and they will teach you how to be NICE!

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